The Merchant of Vancouver

October 2000. After two sleepless weeks covering the Sydney Olympic Summer Games from my sofa, I was battling a bad case of couchlag and in dire need of a vacation. Off I went to Greece – a fine spot for a holiday, but for respite from the Games? Certainly not. As luck would have it, Athens, the cradle of the whole thing, had just won the title of host to the 2004 Olympic Summer Games. Everywhere I looked, there was merchandise proclaiming the big event; I couldn’t walk a block without tripping over some kind of branded bauble.

In this day and age, when being "with it" is a must, is there anything we won't do to show our team spirit? Personally, I'm happy to be a walking billboard.

In an uncharacteristically restrained fashion, I chose as a single souvenir an Athens 2004 olive oil bottle (none of the T-shirts would fit). Its destiny? To join the sole fake among my sports kitsch collection: an Istanbul 2004 throw pillow, produced before Istanbul was nixed as host city. (In fact, it wasn’t a pillow to start with. When my brother came back from Turkey, all he brought me was one of those too-small T-shirts. After a few alterations, the logo for those never-to-be Games was recouped. To this day, the pillow sits on my couch.)

I don’t yet have a Vancouver 2010 tchotchke, but mark my words, it won’t be long before I do. I admit it: I’m a logo junkie. I have been ever since I was a kid, when I got my magnificent Chicago Blackhawks jersey and my dashing blue, red and white Expos cap – not to mention the Habs calendar on my wall. And I’m not alone; this stuff sells. In North America, the major pro leagues in the Wonderful World of SportsTM may have built the bulk of their fortunes on television rights, but merchandise has also kept the cash registers ka-chinging. To wit, just try making your way to a merch booth at Montreal’s Centre Bell on game night. What was it that woman called that book? Was it Yes Logo?

In today’s world, so obsessed with “growth,” it’s all about selling, selling, selling – by whatever means possible. Back in the day, you used to have to go all the way to a store to play the game; even in the age of catalogues, you had to at least walk to the mailbox. But now, thanks to the World Wide Web, you can buy whatever you want from the comfort of your couch’s throw pillow. Every self-respecting website has a “store.” “Shop ’til you drop” is how a poet embracing his consumerist side once put it.

It’s a phrase the Olympic Organizing Committees have taken to heart. Their marketing campaigns are, by necessity, condensed. Each edition of the Games happens only once and has a lifespan of just a few years, from the time the host city is announced to the Closing Ceremony. Just look at Vancouver 2010: The diversity of its product line is enough to make any fan woozy. All the classics are accounted for – jackets, scarves, toques, caps – but there’s also sunglasses, umbrellas, spoon sets, pepper mills, beach towels, slippers, dog leashes and bear bells (!). There’s even a Drinkware section. (I’ll drink to that.)

It’s all kind of tacky, but boy, do we love it. In this day and age, when being “with it” is a must, is there anything we won’t do to show our team spirit? Personally, I’m happy to be a walking billboard. In fact, right now, I’m tempted to drive down to the Petro-Canada to pick up a Vancouver 2010 glass. If only I had a car...

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